


day 3: a how to guide on talking about your feelings

by halfwheeze



Series: thirty ways to seek the giant [3]
Category: Buzzfeed Ladylike (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 05:05:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14301405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfwheeze/pseuds/halfwheeze
Summary: she makes it so easy, to fall in love and not say a word.





	day 3: a how to guide on talking about your feelings

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to day 3 of the jelsey challenge! this aims to last 30 days with a prompt every day, and i hope you enjoy!
> 
> day three is the reveal of feelings!

Okay, so, first of all, don’t. Make her a playlist. Make her a stop motion animatic. Tell her you love her in actions instead of words because you don’t know how to say that you want to feel your fingertips against her skin and her heart between your hands. Speak to her as much as you can, seek her out even when it is obvious that you don’t exactly need her, find her when she seems to want to be found. You always find her alone. When she looks down at you, try not to blush. Fail. When she hugs you, try not to be too awkward about it, but try not to be to comfortable either. Fail at both of those objectives; sink into her with your hackles still up, awkward but loving it. Relish in her laughter and fall a little more in love with her with every passing moment. You can do that. She makes it so easy, to fall in love and not say a word and still get a quarter of the benefits, and a quarter is enough for you. It’s all for fun and games, right? You’re just flirting. 

Chantel will ruin it for you; she will not mean to, she does not mean to be mean, but she will. Her and Freddie will speak of you casually and not realise the love they wrap around your words of Kelsey, and that will be the end of it all. Kelsey will see you, and she will see all of it, because despite her words of a public school Florida education making her dull, she’s one of the brightest people you know. It’s not just the way her smile shines in the darkest corners of your admittedly not that dark mind that makes her that way. She’s funny and brilliant and you love her, you love her, you love her. And now she knows it, you can tell it in her bright eyes, but she doesn’t look weirded out, or anything. She looks excited, she looks like this is one new adventure, like she wants to seek the giant in you. You have never felt both so big and so small in one moment. 

She finds you alone this time, seeks you out when you make a not so smooth exit out of the conversation. It’s been an hour or so and your heart still beats in your throat as you see her approach you, because she’s still Kelsey even if she knows. She’s Kelsey, and if that’s not destroying enough, she’s bringing you ice cream again, like she’s your wife all over again. Try not to get too caught up on the thought of making her your wife all over again. Fail with a large margin. 

“Hey,” Kelsey says as she sits down on your desk like she belongs there, pulling up her long legs onto the table with her, and you imagine a world where she does. She already does belong here; she belongs in every nook and cranny of your life, you think, but you don’t know what she thinks. You joke and you throw words around like they don’t matter, but you can’t help but look at Kelsey and think  _ always.  _ You can’t help but look at her and maybe hope for  _ mine.  _ You look up at her belatedly, but maybe you were looking at her the whole time. It would not surprise you. 

“Hey,” you say, and you want to cringe at how awkward and small you sound, but she just grins, handing you your chocolate ice cream and a little spoon that endears you despite the fact that you know she didn’t pick it out by choice, probably. She gestures towards your computer and just sits on the side of your desk eating her ice cream, letting you eat and work in silence. You wonder what this would be like if it was the comfortable environment you came home to every night. You decide you could live with taking antihistamines if it means Kelsey could have her cats. She loves cats and you love her and well. You want to hold her hand and take her on dates and you’ve always been best at single, but she makes you want to be better and really, that’s the thing isn’t it? That says enough about everything, doesn’t it? It says enough, you think. 

“So. You wanna go out on a date with me after work? Casual, no changing clothes unless we want, maybe a movie at your place?” Kelsey asks, breaking your comfortable and clean silence, and you drop your ice cream. You only drop it onto your desk, a scant few inches, and it’s still in the cup without having spilled, but the noise is enough to startle both you and Kelsey into laughter. Her laughter is so pretty, like ringing bells and the sound of light, and you’re snorting. She seems to find it cute though, judging by her amused staring, and you don’t mind if she’s making fun of you. You always feel like you’re in on the joke when it’s Kelsey laughing at you. 

“I - uh - Yeah. Let’s… takeout? Takeout and watching something on Netflix? Not, like, Netflix and chill, but chill Netflix. I mean, fuck. No, I don’t mean fuck!” you rush, and she’s laughing at you more, and you laugh with her. You scrub a hand over your face and try to start over, but she stops you, a cool hand on your shoulder that makes you look up her in your nervous laughter. 

“I really like you, hot stuff. You’re not gonna mess this up,” she says, and then she’s standing up and throwing her empty ice cream in your trash can. She kisses your forehead, quick and sweet, and then she’s gone. Kristin, who’s just coming back from a video planning with Mike, looks at you like something crazy has happened. It was Kelsey, so it takes you a moment to realise that something crazy  _ has  _ happened. You have a date this afternoon. With Kelsey Darragh. Kelsey Darragh invited herself over to your apartment and she wants to have takeout with you and probably laugh at dumb straight people romcoms. She kissed your forehead. You put your fingertips to the place where her lips touched and Kristin snorts as she sits down, apparently letting it go. You don’t think you’ll be letting it go for a long time. You know you won’t be letting Kelsey go for a long time. 

“What just happened?” Chantel asks, pulling off her headphones from two desks down. You realise, belatedly, that she must have been here the whole time; you don’t know how you forgot about a whole ass person’s presence, but Kelsey kinda does that to you and you know it. Your whole brain narrows to her sometimes. 

“I really, really don’t know.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Leave me a prompt @halfwheeze on tumblr, and I'll get to it when I can!


End file.
